“No Excuses Now, God”

I was lately reading a blog written by a former Christian who is now an atheist. In the blog she described the struggle she went through in her faith. These words got me talking to Kylee to think through some hard questions.

For years I had been patching my Christian faith together, as I like to say, with duct tape and bailing wire. My beliefs had become more and more idiosyncratic as I tried to hold together the lot of moral and rational contradictions that make up born-again, Bible-believing Christianity. Now, finally, after two decades of warping my feelings, perceptions and intellect to defend the absolute goodness of the Christian God, I got mad. I said to the god in my head, "I’m not making excuses for you anymore. I quit." And just like that, God was gone. All that was left was the frame of tape and wire: empty excuses, rationalizations and songs of worship that sounded oddly flat.  http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2010/11/05/getting-god%E2%80%99s-self-appointed-messengers-out-of-your-head/

I have a personal relationship with God; I am a person of faith.  I left a sect of Christianity that is beyond simply conservative and I believe was a cult, but I also believe that I found God while I was there. There was somewhat of a crisis of faith as I was leaving, while I was thinking through which rules I should keep or leave behind, etc.  I like to think that God helped me through it. 

How does a God that is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-goodness, kindness, and love fit with what we see in the world???  How does that fit with what we see in the bible of his anger, judgment, etc???  How do I look at the world as is and still manage to see a loving God at work?

I am not interested in making excuses for God, if I need to make excuses for him than he’s not big enough to be God anyway.  I’m not interested in shoving these questions under the rug, if my faith can’t stand up to questions then it’s not a real faith and deserves to be torn down.

I’m taking these age-old, faith shattering questions directly to God, humbly, honestly asking, and seeing if I am given a meaningful response.  I was talking to my friend, Melanie, about her 9 year old cousin who died of cancer 22 years ago.  I was familiar with the story, and it’s been long enough since, that she was ok with indulging my asking of some hard questions. “How explain a loving God allowing a 9 year old to die of cancer?” Her response was, “It was the best God could do in a fallen world.”  I said, “Really?!? An all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving God allows a child to die, and wounds the parents who trust Him, but it’s the best he can do? Really?!? There’s nothing else he could have done? Now, I do believe that through Bret’s passing some people were brought closer to God, but I think that’s the best God could do after the fact.”

The more I watch the world, the more I learn of God, the more I believe that God created this corner of the universe to exist as a pocket in which he is not necessarily all-powerful or all-knowing.  I do believe in an all-powerful, all-knowing God, but also believe when he created mankind he gave us the ability to limit his abilities.  Maybe he got tired of knowing everything and wanted some spontaneity … aren’t we good for that, lol.  If he knew what I was going to think (feel/do) before I think (feel/do) it then is it really my thought (feeling/action)?  And if it’s His why punish us for it? If an all-loving God even punishes in the way we’ve been taught He does.

I believe in the supernatural. I actually believe that the supernatural is supposed to be the normal and that the world we live in is subnormal because we don’t recognize or make room for the supernatural to happen.  

Well, enough questions for the moment...  back to the truck!